


Maybe Never (Hate And Love)

by rivaillin



Series: Hate And Love [5]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Odi et Amo, POV First Person, Side Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 04:16:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2799239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rivaillin/pseuds/rivaillin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe later. Maybe never.</p><p>Levi meets Hanji and they both sit down to have a little talk. He might, or might not, admit he's being manipulated. But the truth is that he totally wants it.<br/>OEA related.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe Never (Hate And Love)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gorgeouslevi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gorgeouslevi/gifts).



> First of all, this is for Ro because she loves Levi probably just as much as I do.  
> Second, I've had this with me for a while and it's finally the time to post it.  
> Hanji always strikes me as that character that helps Levi take the next move. Probably just like Eren has Armin or Mikasa. So yeah, have a little of Hanji for the first time in dialogue.
> 
> She's totally NOT behind what happened during chapter 18. Totally NOT.

A few years from now I knew I’d probably look back on this day and think: _god bless your little innocent ass, Levi, this is how out of your way you go for brats with bright eyes and pretty smiles._ For now, though, I guess I wasn’t as self-aware as I wished I’d be. I’d get there, eventually, maybe when these feelings of mine settled down. Maybe later. _Maybe never_.

“Oh my god!” Hanji slammed her hands over the table and I watched her coffee wobble. “So what you mean to say is… you got a _boyfriend_?” Her eyes shone behind her glasses and I knew I’d lost all the futile attempts in trying to go around that little aspect that still made my stomach hurl.

It’s wrong to say I didn’t like it, being considered someone’s boyfriend. But the word was a little foreign to me and had a weird taste in my mouth whenever I said it. Not to mention that now that Eren and I were dating, I felt like I was over the edge basically all the time. It was tiring, and stressing, to know that every little thing he did or said had such a big impact on me. But now, more than never, I felt like I wanted to put up with it. I felt like I wanted to feel something different, something I always tried to avoid at all costs.

I guess it was that one point in life where I understood there was a difference between what was really important and what wasn’t, and I was starting to figure it out.

_About time._

“Oh my god!” Hanji repeated, “That’s just so adorable, I can’t…” She held her palm up and dropped her face in the curve of her arm. I frowned at how dramatic she was being, but at the same time I was glad she could do the little emotional display that was so far from possible for me to do. “This is the first time I’ve ever heard you talk about somebody else like that, and I’m just so overwhelmed!”

I closed my eyes and let my head loll around on my shoulders. “I’d be very pleased if you could keep it down, though. I didn’t skip classes today so I could hear your annoying carping.”

Hanji threw a toothy grin at me. “Aw, come on! What’s his name?”

“Eren.”

She paused, eyes growing thinner. “Has he been to any of my shows?”

“Yes. And you probably scared him off because I’ve never seen him around again.”

Her grin grew even wider. “He didn’t like it, uh? Or maybe the boner was so strong he knew he wouldn’t be able to step anywhere near the bar anymore.”

I scoffed at the thought, “No. I don’t think that’s the case. You’re a freak of nature, that’s nowhere near the kind that’d make anyone pop up a boner.”

“Hey,” her voice pitched, “I could tell you a lot of stories about that!”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t even know why I put up with this shit.”

“Because we’re friends.”

“We’re not friends.”

Hanji shook her head. “Alright, alright, but we’re not _not friends_ either.”

I narrowed my eyes while I processed her words, but quickly gave up on it because she had a point. There was no harm in staying somewhere in between. Though that was probably a very naïve thought as well.

“I’m still amazed, though,” she said. “How did that happen?  Does he put that much effort into this to the point you’d notice him? You barely notice anyone who blinks theirs eyes at you!”

There was a lot to be said for effort. Although Eren didn’t even have to try that hard to have my attention. Somehow, I always managed to have my senses up for his presence. I was the one wanting his devotion, courtesy if anything. But that was also a strange bubble of greedy and bottled up feelings.

Of course Hanji didn’t stop there. She just leapt over all my answers and asked, “Do you love him?”

I paused. I looked down at the table and suddenly couldn’t tell the difference between the spoon of my tea and the fork I’d used to eat my breakfast. “Uhm… I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” She slammed her hand over the table again and I frowned. “How can you not know if you love someone? You’re so emotionally constipated it hurts my feelings, _Levi_.”

I closed my eyes and used my fingers to massage the growing headache over my eyebrows.  “Stop saying my name in such a chastising tone, if you may.”

“ _Levi_ ,” she warned when she felt me avoid the subject.

“Ok. I was trying to be polite, but now I’m fucking pissed—”

Hanji took off her glassed and glared at me. “Language, _please_ , pretty boy.”

I closed my mouth and glared. She sure could be the most annoying human being _ever_ , when she wanted to. And scary. Like a mom. Yes, that’s it. Totally like a mom. A freaky mom.

Slowly, just as if the little outburst never happened, Hanji started putting on her glasses again and gave a small sigh before the grin from before tugged at her lips. “You were saying?”

“I was saying I don’t know. I don’t even know what love is.”

Maybe that was pretty lame. Being 22 and not know what love was? Hah, someone would totally laugh in my face. And I’d rip off their throat too because _fuck them_.

“Oh, that’s alright.” She winked at me, “You’ll know when you feel it. I promise.” She paused, though, and for the life of me I knew I didn’t want to hear her next question when it came. “Have you two done the deed?”

I rolled my eyes. “No, Hanji. _No_.”

“Ok, ok. What was his name again?”

“ _Eren_.”

“Yes! Yes, yes. Eren. Is he a top or a bottom?”

I sighed. “I think the question here is: am I a top or a bottom? Because I’m pretty sure Eren is whatever comes at him.” Which was totally a turn-on, if I might add.

Hanji wiggled her eyebrows. “Between you and me...? You’re the bottom. I guess I don’t even need to see this _Eren_ person to know.”

_Of course not. What you need to see is my fist on your face._

“Then again,” she slapped her tights, “I’m baffled once more!”

I folded my arms and leaned back on my chair, my eyes rolling up to the ceiling. “What.”

“You realize it’s Friday, right?”

My eyes narrowed. “Right. So?”

“So you’ll be leaving on Monday? And you and your baby won’t be together probably until next year? What will you do to keep it all in, sext? Nu-uh. You don’t want to follow that path, Levi.”

My head dropped and I glared at her. “What kind of nonsense are you talking about?”

“He’s—what—18? You do not neglect an 18 years old boy. Believe me, I know.”

“Ok. First of all, eww. Second, _what_? I’m not neglecting him.”

She smirked and looked away. “He’s gonna dump you. Oh, the little virgin!”

I glared. “Call me that one more time and I’ll castrate you.”

“He’ll totally dump you.”

“No. He won’t.”

Her smirk grew. “What makes you so sure?”

My heart dropped to a pit. My eyebrow trembled as I tried to keep myself composed. “Because not everything is about sex.”

Hanji threw a pointy finger in the air. “True! And yet, everything comes down to sex.”

Would I ever win an argument with this person? Probably never. And the thought scared me because _what the hell did I do to deserve this?_

“You and I,” she leaned over the table, hand waving between the two of us and voice dropping to a lower tone, “will go shopping after this.”

I frowned. “Shopping for what?”

She picked up her wallet and rose to her feet, circling the table and then leaning enough to paste her lips to my ear and whisper, “You probably haven’t noticed but it’s all over you face whenever you say his name.”

I jumped in my sit and hurried to slap a hand over my ear. “W-What?”

“Ooops! Sensitive spot?” She grinned. “Alright I’ll pay for this. Finish your tea, little prince. I’ll instruct you on the matters of the _manship_ ,” her fist hit her chest in a very dramatic display, “and the matters of the heart! And—well, whatever. Just count on me with this stuff.”

I glared at her back and then slowly let my forehead rest down over the table.

_Is it that obvious?_


End file.
